Let me tell you a story
About a kid named Scott
He used to be the coolest kid
But now he just is not
He's turned into such a dick
Over summers past
He acts like he owns the world
Makes me want to kick his ass
He thinks he is the greatest
And says he's better than me
I said to him we're all the same
He said "yeah right" well we'll just see
Well I try to apologize to him
For something that I never did
I'm wondering why I'm doing this
'Cause there's a shit I don't give

I'll never be, cooler than Scott
I'll never be, big pimpin'
My girlfriend, will never be as hot as his
Or have big breasts
But that's ok, he's just a dick
He's just like everyone else
I know I'm wrong, that's why I say
I'll never be cooler than Scott

I'm locked up in a bowling ally
Flowing with hate inside
I want to be a normal man
But now I won't abide
I think of people just like him
And all the things they do
Judge me on the make of my
My shirt, my pants, my shoes

I'll never be, cooler than Scott
I'll never be, big pimpin'
My girlfriend, will never be as hot as his
Or have big breasts
But that's ok, he's just a dick
He's just like everyone else
I know I'm wrong, that's why I say
I'll never be cooler than Scott